Total Drama Random
by silver rosebud
Summary: Couldn't think of a better title. Just look, cause it is random. You like random, don't you? YAY 4 RANDOM! RANDOM 4 PRESIDENT!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own TD.**

**Okay, you see, I recently decided to delete quite a few of my stories for reasons I will not mention.**

**Anyways, I just got a R.L. (randomness license) so I decided it would be cool to see another TD series… run a different way. You have to keep reading to find out.**

A young looking man (that was really in his 30's) was sitting on a bus driven by an intern with 24 teenagers as co-passengers.

"Why are we doing another season? Haven't we suffered enough?" Alejandro asked with a hint of anger directed at Chris.

"Nope." Chris replied, obviously enjoying their suffering.

"Well Sierra and AL have only gone through one season of your torture" Heather spat, not caring that everyone cringed when she spoke.

"What about Eva, eh? And Katie and Sadie?" Ezekiel questioned. (He is still alive because One: He cannot die and Two: the lava shocked him so much it made him half-human again)

"Emma, Karrie and Sherrie had to deal with the aftermath show" Lindsay chirped while everyone else face-palmed.

Courtney, throughout this whole 3-hour ride to the new season site, was typing yet another list on her PDA. Beth peeked over the seat to see what she was writing.

_Ways to get revenge on Duncan and/ or Gwen, #39842: Replace Duncan's and Gwen's hair dye with a mixture of pink paint and super glue._

Beth slid back into her seat and after a few seconds, began whistling false innocence.

"We have arrived." The intern, whose nametag said Joe, announced to the bus full of people.

Everyone went like an egg and scrambled off (Haha) to the building.

"So what torture methods are you going to use on us this season?" Gwen sarcastically asked Chris

"Absolutely none" He replied with a grin as everyone gasped

"Chip not torturing us? It is the Apo- Apo-kee… it is the end of the world!" Lindsay screeched

"R-E-L-A-X! The reason I'm not going to torture you is because we have a new host! I don't have to make plans, and you still get tormented! Isn't it great?" Chris said while looking around "And here she comes now!"

A girl, with short, flaming red hair and piercing green eyes , pale skin, around 5ft4, 102 lbs, wearing a red t-shirt and tan shorts with white flats entered the room. Some guys wolf-whistled at her, until she shot a sharp glare that immediately shut them up.

"So, where is this new host?" Justin asked, ogling the unknown female. The girl points to herself while looking majorly offended.

"I am the new host, you idiot. I'm Zephyrine Storm." Zephyrine snarled

"You? You can't be older than us!" Courtney exclaimed

"No. But I am younger than you all." She then points to the guys that wolf-whistled at her "You thought I was hot? I'm only 13, yeesh." Zephyrine said flicking some hair out of her eyes.

"Your name is weird and long" Eva put bluntly.

"Then call me Zeph, Windy, Kate, Host, Ms. Cheese Puffs, Billy-Bob, WHATEVER!" She yelled at the teens. "… Anyways, this year the rooms will be co-ed.." She said slyly. Most girls looked at her with looks of hatred, fear, and 'ARE YOU INSANE?' While the boys, however, looked at her with looks of happiness, gratitude and 'This new host is AWESOME!'

"Just kidding. Although this year, there will be no teams, so the girls will be split into two groups. Same with the guys. Challenges will be as random as hot fudge from Russian clouds. Expect the unexpected. Feed the squirrels vanilla pudding. Kiss a shark. Drop-kick a cabbage or two. And most of all, do NOT look in my closet!" Zeph then laughed evilly, with everyone staring at her.

"Your first challenge will be announced tomorrow morning, so get some sleep." She chirped before walking off to her own private room.

"Bi-polar much?" One of the interns mumbled as he directed everyone to their accommodations.

**Hmmm… I guess evilly IS a word. Anyways, review for randomness!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own the TD world.**

All the contestants walked out of their rooms, totally unprepared for what challenge that would blossom in Zephyrine's dark mind.

"I wonder what teams we will be on." Beth said to the air.

She actually said it in front of everyone, but no one cared.

"THERE ARE NO TEAMS THIS TIME, SUCKERS!" Zeph maniacally yelled in Courtney's ear.

"Why not?" Courtney asked, irritated now.

"'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA BOTHER! AND THE CHALLENGES ARE RANDOM THIS TIME! TEAMS ARE TOO CLICHÉ! AND PREDICTABLE!"

Several interns were gathering around now, curious.

"Who gave Zeph another caffeinated beverage?"

No one dared answer that.

"Anyways, your first challenge will be to lasso mangoes with dental floss!" she screeched. Then ran away, anime style.

"I wonder how she does that. Could be useful if I run into the RCMP…" breathed Izzy.

*At the Arena*

Several interns were handing out dental floss lassos to the teens. Many were trying to figure out how to do this, since they had to pull the mango towards them, and well, dental floss is kind of flimsy.

"Ready… set… GO!"

Every contestant began tossing the floppy lassos at one of the 24 mangoes, trying to make sure that they weren't the last ones standing.

No one could get very far though.

It had been 2 minutes into the challenge when Tyler noticed something

"Hey, why are there two benches?"

"Well, after you lasso a mango, you hand it over to me and sit on the bench on the left." Zeph chirped

"And the other one is for…?"

"You'll see… you'll ALL see!" she cackled

Tyler shrugged this off, and began tossing his lasso again. A bad mistake.

Geoff was the first one to get a mango

"Alright!" he shouted, then handed over the mango to Zeph and sat down on the bench

Alejandro was the next one to get a mango

"Yes-." Then the mango exploded in his face

"WHAT THE HECK?"

"Oh yeah, I put explosives in some of the mangos… mwahaha" Zephyrine laughed

"Zeph is the best host ever!" shouted Izzy, then roped in a non-exploding mango

"Alejandro, your mango exploded meaning you didn't complete the challenge. Go sit on the bench at the right." Zeph beamed

Alejandro disdainfully walked over to the empty bench

*15 minutes and four exploding mangos later*

It was almost over, down to Bridgette and Owen. Alejandro, Sadie, Katie, Ezekiel and Courtney were the ones out because of exploding exotic fruit.

"Gyah!"

Owen roped in the mango at the same time Bridgette did, a tie!

Of course, since Owen was hungry, he ate his mango

"Owen! You ate your mango, so you did not complete the challenge, you're out!"

"Aww" he whined, but sat down on the bench, while Bridgette handed over her mango

*3 minutes later*

"Okay after careful examination of the fruit, we have determined that Gwen is the winner, because her mango contained the only Silver Star!"

"What? How is that fair?"

"It is because I made it fair!" she laughed, then stopped when she heard a 'boom'

"URRPP!" Owen belched, and you could see some smoke come out of his mouth.

"I ate an exploding fruit… wait… I ATE FRUIT?"

*at the elimination ceremony*

"Okay, it is simple, just text your vote on these phones I gave you"

Everyone began to vote out people

"Okay so there is two votes for Courtney, one vote for Gwen…" Zeph then eyes Courtney "And the rest of the votes are for… Harold!"

"What, but you could have used my wicked skills, GOSH!" He then was dragged to the Random Clown Car of Shame.

"Well, that's it guys, go do what you want, as long as it is legal." Zephyrine eyed Duncan, then Courtney, then Alejandro.

Everyone went on his or her way. However, one contestant was plotting revenge…

*Confessionals*

? : I hate him. I normally don't hate people, but I hate him. I hate what he did to me, and he is gonna pay…

**DUN DUN DUN! Who is this mysterious person out for revenge? Who gave the host caffeine? Why am I bothering you with questions I know the answers to? Review your answers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The grass is red**

**My skin is blue**

**This is Total Drama Random**

**So be random too!**

**Oh, and I don't own Total Drama in this dimension. Try the next one over.**

**No wait… that's the one with the cannibalistic mushrooms. Sorry for the confusion.**

Gwen, Heather and Lindsay were groaning when they came out of their designated room.

"What's with you three?" asked Zephyrine in an uncaring tone, while the rest of the contestants were lining up for breakfast, which was day-old mango chunks.

"Your AIR HORN surprised us, and we were all sleeping on the top bunks, so we fell to the floor!" Heather snapped.

Zeph just smirked and held up her air horn, "That's the idea!" she laughed, before blasting it again.

Ten minutes after everyone had eaten; it was time for the challenge. Zeph lead all of the contestants into the kitchen, where there was a stack of pie plates.

"Today's challenge is a pie making contest." The fire headed host announced.

"Okay, where are the ingredients?" asked Courtney, looking like she was planning to win this thing.

"OUT THERE!" Zeph shouted, dramatically pointing to the woods as everyone's mouths dropped open.

"You see, it was originally Chef's idea to have a baking challenge, but I came up with something a bit more creative. The pies won't be judged by taste, they'll be judge by how unique they are. And by unique, I mean insane. These pies aren't for eating; they are for a much more… intriguing purpose than that." Zeph snickered at the last part, but stopped when everyone looked afraid, "This is probably one of the best challenges in the game, so do your best! You have half an hour to gather ingredients, starting NOW!" She screamed.

Everyone ran off to the woods. Gwen stumbled across some termites eating a tree

"Insane, eh?"

Crushing several so that they don't crawl out of the pie, she dropped a handful of dead termites into her pan.

DJ, somewhat upset with the 'not necessarily edible' guideline, was mashing whole apples with a rock, seeds and stem to boot.

Katie and Sadie were taking various rocks and dead leaves for theirs.

Duncan, having fun with this challenge, took robins eggs and mixed them with wet sand.

"I never knew a thief like you could go so low as to steal eggs, but I had my suspicions."

Duncan turned and failed in concealing a frown, "Well, Courtney, I never knew an uppity, no fun snob like you would think you are so high and mighty to reprimand me for it, but I had my suspicions."

Courtney was about to yell, but decided against it since it would waste searching time. Instead, she went off and collected some fish.

*LATER*

Everyone was standing next to the assembled pies, while Chef and Zeph oohed and aahed over each one.

"Nice touch with the dead fish Courtney!" Zeph marveled. Courtney gave an evil smile.

"Who says they're dead?" Courtney asked while poking one, causing it to start flopping helplessly.

Chef laughed at this, "They are all wonderful! It's going to be hard to pick a winner!"

"And even harder to pick a loser!" Zeph chirped, "Except that's your job!"

Then Zeph's eyes fell on Izzy's pie

A master of insanity, it indeed was. A crust made of a dried version of her infamous fire-starter, with old pieces of Heather's hair that were chopped off in the first season mixed into mud, gravel and guts from some animal, most likely a gopher.

"THIS! THIS IS PERFECT! IZZY WINS THIS CHALLENGE BY FAR!"

Izzy clapped and did a victory dance on the table, narrowly missing the other pies.

"So what now?" asked DJ.

Chef and Zephyrine smirked, and Chef spoke, "Bring those pies to the center."

Since only Zeph and Chef knew where the center was, everyone just picked up their pies and followed them to an empty room.

Only to see Chris being dragged in by two interns

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME!" Chris yelled, but the interns were holding him against the wall as though something was going to happen in the next five seconds.

"Everyone take aim!" Chef and Zeph yelled simultaneously, and everyone got a wild look in their eyes.

"FIRE!"

Chris squealed as a combination of fish, eggs, spit, mud, apple mush, rocks, dirt, deer droppings and gopher guts flew through the air at him.

*Elimination ceremony*

"So…" Zephyrine said in a dark voice, "One of you is to be sent to the point of no return tonight…"

Several people blinked at this

"The unfortunate person, never to have a shot at winning Total Drama Random is…" pausing for effect, "Ezekiel"

The home-schooled boy was upset as two interns dragged him into the Random Clown Car of Shame

"Why is everyone…" Is all you could hear before the door was slammed and Ezekiel was driven to… somewhere.

"Well, once again, I don't care what you do as long as I don't get sued." Zeph said in a tired voice.

*Confessionals*

Geoff: Wow, two eliminations in and Zeph's wiped. At least she's better than Chris at hosting.

Courtney: I think this might be my season. If I keep record of everything, I might start seeing a pattern…

?: Planning my revenge is going well. Now all I have to do is figure out how to lure him in…

**Apples are purple, trees are orange, give a review, and take a door hinge!**


End file.
